When screening for addiction, some common questions are asked. How do you know if you are dealing with sex addiction versus ‘regular’ infidelity? Which brings us back to the original question. ![]() In the aftermath of betrayal, it is vital to get the correct diagnosis and get on the correct treatment path so you don’t waste time, energy, and money during a time when you are already incredibly drained emotionally, physically, and maybe even financially. Regular therapy that is not specifically designed to move clients through the tasks and steps involved in intervening on the addiction, establishing sobriety, and moving into long-term recovery will just not be effective. Those brakes will not even make a dent in the train’s speed because they are not built to slow let alone stop that much momentum. Now imagine using regular old train brakes to try to stop it. If that sounds daunting to you, imagine a high-speed train throttling down its tracks (the fastest one in the world can travel 430 kilometers per hour). These include individual therapy, group therapy, a 12-step program, couples therapy, and other intensive therapy work. Sex addiction treatment involves a number of interventions that all get deployed in the right order at the right time. Meanwhile, treating infidelity with a sex addiction model can be equally ineffective. ![]() ![]() Often, relationships that could have been saved end because the addiction was never arrested and treated. The couple ends up spending time, energy, and money on therapy that never addresses the real issue. When couple’s therapists try to address sex addiction using a traditional infidelity treatment model, it does not work. This is an important question to ask because if your partner is a sex addict, the treatment path will look very different than if they are not. Betrayed partners often ask me, “How do I know if my partner is a sex addict?“ Usually, they are looking at the pattern of sexual behavior involved in the cheating and wondering if it has crossed the line between infidelity and sexual addiction.
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